Kara Swisher of AllThingsD wonders who will replace Kevin Johnson as head of online stuff at the Borg. She’s got a list of about a hundred people. That’s a famous Wall Street Journal technique — when in doubt, guess as many people as possible, thereby increasing your odds of getting it right once the company does announce a winner. (Though I’m not sure you can call whoever gets to run the Borg’s online division a “winner.”) One name Kara doesn’t mention, much to his chagrin, I’m sure, is Robert Scoble (right). My sources deep inside the Borg report numerous phone calls from Scoble trying to set up lunches and pretending to be just calling to say hi and check in and see how everyone’s doing in the wake of the big news. A couple of the people who were contacted were evil enough to bait Scoble into making the case for why he should replace Kevin Johnson. Boils down to the following: 

* I’m a natural leader. Check out my Twitter and FriendFeed lists.

* Already know the location of key Microsoft campus locations, including cafeterias.

* Have a Nokia N95 and not afraid to use it.

* Recently visited Washington, D.C., our nation’s capital.

* Have I mentioned that I wrote a book?

* Active in my church.

* Look good naked

Apparently a few of these Borgtards are trying to set up a round of fake interviews. Then they’ll call and tell him he’s got the job, so he’ll announce it on his blog. You can’t even begin to imagine how much people at Microsoft hate Scoble.